Rita Skeeter Covers Quidditch

Yesterday our literary Queen J.K. Rowling posted a Quidditch World Cup column, which is the first published Harry Potter piece since Deathly Hallows, seven years ago (I’m not counting ‘The Tales of Beedle The Bard’ here…)

The column was written in the style of Rita Skeeter, which is pretty vital, and is something that readers seem to have overlooked completely.

As we know, Rita Skeeter is a gossip – she’s one of those annoying journalists that elaborate on a story to create a whole new feature article. Everything she says must be taken with a bag of salt. She’d do well in writing for The Daily Mail, I reckon…

I’ve read many an online article over the last day which cover the published Quidditch World Cup 2014 article. The very vast majority of these seem to be written by someone who hasn’t read the books and probably watched the films once, with their kids. Rita Skeeter is a minor character and, like I said before, a gossip. She is severely disliked by Harry, Ron & Hermione because she’s so irritating.

Hermione: “You horrible woman. You don’t care, do you, anything for a story, and anyone will do, won’t they?”

In the Quidditch article, Rita seems to think that Harry and Ginny’s marriage is going downhill and that Harry’s new facial scar (which is justified in the fact that he is an Auror) is actually a curse from Ginny. The fact that Ginny is set to cover the finals of the Quidditch World Cup for The Daily Prophet is also set as further proof for their failing marriage. I wouldn’t want Harry’s & Ginny’s marriage to be failing, and I certainly don’t want to have to hear it from Rita bloody Skeeter. I’m simply taking it as a genuine bit of fun for Rowling – it’s nothing too serious and isn’t hinting at anything for the future of the characters. It’s just Rita Skeeter showing her jealousy at someone so much younger than her getting a better story, which is made clear with her lovely comment: “When your last name is Potter, doors open, international sporting bodies bow and scrape, and Daily Prophet editors hand you plum assignments.”

Rita goes straight on to pick on Ron & Hermione, claiming that the reason they don’t talk to press is because they’re scared of what Harry would do to them, and scared that their secrets will “leak out, tarnishing the myth of He Who Could Not Be Named’s myth” which is just a sentence too annoying for words.

We do, however, learn that Ron’s hair is thinning, and that he is now co-managing Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes with George. That’s so adorable, and perfect!

According to Rita, the rest of Dumbledore’s Army (who received less publicity than the trio) are “almost certainly” resentful. Again I’m not entirely sure why this hasn’t caused more people to realise the fact that everything is most likely embellished shit.

The rudeness never stops with this character, as she goes on to suggest that Luna’s twin boys are “too disturbed to be seen in public”, discloses that Longbottom is an alcoholic herbology professor, and questions whether Bill and Fleur’s love is courtesy of a love potion, enchantment, blackmail, or kidnap. Lovely!

Rita really and truly is an annoying character, however not as annoying as Umbridge – obviously. However it’s characters like these two that make the series so amazing; the fact so much hatred can come just from a written character is actually magic.

As far as I know, the final Quidditch World Cup column will be published on July 11, and will be the final covered by Ginny Potter. Excited!

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