Can guys and girls ever just be friends?
It’s a question that’s asked a helluva lot, and has been debated since the dawn of time (not really but just go with it.) There’s been movies dedicated to finding the answer, and almost every TV show touches upon it, with a “will they won’t they” storyline forever present between seemingly good friends. But how does it work in real life, without having that perfect fairy tale ending that’s written for our favourite characters? Will there always be FEELS involved or is that just the media brainwashing us into thinking that we mustn’t ever attempt to be friends with with someone of the opposite sex, just on the chance that something may happen?
So many people believe that a guy and a girl cannot possibly be friends. Harry explains to Sally why that is in one of the first scenes of the movie (When Harry Met Sally, for all you uncultured swine’s) when they’re road tripping together to New York – “men and women can’t be friends. The sex part always gets in the way.” And according to Harry, a girl can easily see these guys as just friends, but they will see her as a potential girlfriend. “They all want to have sex with you.”
It says a lot that so many agree with this statement – that guys will always see a girl as a potential love interest. Does that make it the guys problem, of not being able to differentiate between “girl I’m friends with” and “girl I want to bang”? Some women have said that guys will see you the way that you behave around them. So, what that means is, if you see and treat a guy as a friend, then he’ll only ever see you as a friend, but if you treat him as something more, then he’ll follow suite.
Some people agree with Harry’s statement, that men and women can’t be friends, but have the opposite opinion – that it’s girls who develop crushes on their guy best friends. But everyone moves on from a crush – a crush doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a slight infatuation, which is easily forgotten.
Men, however, are more likely to fall for a female friend. And apparently science proves it.
There are so many articles that touch upon this point, and so many webpages I’ve had to read over to explain to my drunk and crying friend that guys are weird and confusing, and that their brains are wired differently. No names will be mentioned over who the drunk and crying friend is. She knows exactly who she is. Many a night has been spent watching The Notebook with her attempting to find happiness – and me desperately searching for sanity – at the bottom of a bottle of wine. And a box of pizza.
We make friends based on similar interests, whether our personality matches, and humour. This article explains what men and women find sexy when searching for a potential “other half”, and the first point is pretty simple – girls like to laugh, and they like people who can make them laugh. Guys like to think they’re funny, and they tend to go for the girls who find them funny and laugh at their crap jokes. It’s like an ego boost for them, and everyone knows just how sensitive a man’s ego is…
So, ladies, while you’re sitting there laughing at your friend and thinking about how much of a brother he is to you, he’s probably sitting there falling more and more in love with you, just because you laugh at his shite jokes.
Apparently. According to that article.
Some people say that guys think about sex every seven seconds or so. In the time it’s taken you to read out this sentence, your male best friend or boyfriend has thought about sex. Apparently. Says science. Personally, I think that’s wildly overstated, it just isn’t possible. Men would essentially be, like, sex-obsessed goldfish. Just with a slightly longer attention span. And we all know that that is just not the case. I know for a fact that guys can be focused on one thing, and not think about sex, for longer than seven seconds – have you ever seen two guys battle it out on Mario Kart?!
My point exactly.
Using that logic, it is completely possible for a guy to have a conversation with a girl and not have it lead to him thinking about sleeping with her.
My closest friends are guys and they’re honestly like my brothers. I do get asked about whether I’m with one of them (all the goddamn time) and the answer is a straight-up simple: no. We have never been together, we are not together and we never will be.
In TV shows and movies writers will always touch upon the whole “will they-won’t they” side of friendships and relationships. These characters only end up together purely because that’s what the fans would want. People love the whole “best friends turned couple” storyline because it’s easy and convenient and cute, but real life isn’t any of those things! Also, getting together with your best friend is weird – chances are, they’ve seen you throw up, heard you pee, and comforted you as you ugly cry. And ugly crying is really, truly ugly.
There are, thankfully, movies where the best friends DON’T get together, and portray a friendship the way it is in real life. Harry and Hermione is the best example that comes to mind. They have that perfect friendship, where they’d go to the ends of the earth for each other, but in a completely “hey man this is so totally platonic” way.
I know that men and women can sometimes get jealous, really easily, so if your boyfriend/girlfriends best friend is someone that makes you get jealous, then please just trust me when I say that nothing will happen. Chances are, your other half will go asking that best friend for advice on how to be a better person for you. Be nice to the best friend. If you get along with them, then they’ll do everything in their power to make sure that your relationship runs smoothly.
Ladies, if your boyfriend’s best friend is a girl, then you just trust that she’ll stop him from acting like a total dick and ruining the relationship.
Guys, if your girlfriend’s best friend is a boy, then she’s probably using him to decode your stupid vague-as-hell messages, and trying to hook him up with that girl that he keeps snapchatting.
I fully believe that men and women can be just friends; your best friends are like the family that you choose. Pushing past all those articles, which are pretty much just there to make lonely hearts feel better about themselves, there is no clear logic that says that guys and girls have to get together instead of being best friends.
Having a best friend of the opposite sex is the best – you get a real insight into their mind, and ladies, it really helps you realise that guys are confusing as hell, and that there is absolutely NO logic to their actions, whatsoever.