Public Service Announcement – April Fools!

Tomorrow is April Fools day, so for all you pranksters out there, have fun. However, for all you heartless little shits who are looking for ways to be funny, this is NOT what you do…

  1. DO NOT play with someone feelings. So, don’t ask someone out, or tell someone you like them just “for the lolz” because it’s not funny, and it makes you look like a giant asshat for intentionally messing someone’s feelings around. Just don’t do it.
  2. DO NOT send screamers or pop ups. Other than being ridiculously stupid, you probably won’t even be there to see the reaction, unless you literally type out the link for them. You don’t know what effect that can have on a person. It could scare them even more than you wanted to, the sheer shock of it could bring on a panic attack, and you’ll probably make them feel incredibly embarrassed – all of which are NOT FUNNY.
  3. DO NOT physically harm someone. Don’t. If you were thinking about physically harming someone, then seriously, seek professional help.
  4. DO NOT prank minimum wage workers. Don’t go to a store and purposely fuck up the shelves/rails. It’s stupid, and as someone who spent two years working in retail, I can assure you that sales assistants want to kill customers every day. It’s just more severe on April Fools, and if you push them too hard, then they will destroy you. They don’t get paid enough to put up with your bullshit. In fact, you should be nice to minimum wage workers, because they work the hardest for the least amount of pay, and have to put up with irritating customers ALL DAY! Just be nice. Seriously. They’re not beneath you, and they’re there to help you.
  5. DO NOT tell people you’re really sick/ill/dying. If you do that, I will personally come to your house, tie you to a chair, and make you watch the ten-hour Rick Roll. I’ll even tape your eyes open, and use eye drops, in the style of A Clockwork Orange.
  6. DO NOT fake your own death, or the death of someone else. This is pretty self explanatory, really…
  7. DO NOT fake a pregnancy. I mean, honestly why the hell would you, that’s just the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, this is not a stupid high school drama where you need to try and be popular, oh my god.
  8. DO NOT fake run away. My mum once thought my brother ran away from home, because she found a note in his room, and let me tell you now I’ve never seen her panic so hard in my life. (It was actually just a homework piece where he had to write a letter pretending he ran away. He’d actually just gone out with our cousin.)

Seriously, April Fools has turned into a day of stupid pranks and “jokes” pulled by sad people attempting to be funny when they’re not. Be creative this year, don’t be a twat. And for sake of all of humanity, do not play with a person’s feelings and emotions.

This has been a PSA. You are welcome.

April Fools!

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